So the no poo experiment was a pretty dismal failure. My hair was either disgustingly slimy at the roots and frizzy ends or the entire thing was like straw. It was just bad, and I could get it okay for a day or two, but I just couldn't stabilize it.
So I got a pretty intense trim to get rid of the worst of the damage (yeah it was bad) and had to use a salon brand to go back to a blank slate.
I then went back to the drawing board, the same way I did with my skin.
What I have been using for the last two months and am COMPLETELY happy with, is egg yolk, almond oil and honey. that's it (well, and a few drops of lavender oil for scent). Mix it up, apply it as I would shampoo, let it sit while I'm cleaning my body, then rinse and brush.
I am still needing to use my store bought anti-frizz just due to winter fly-aways, but... One less thing is being bought, and since we raise our own chickens and bees, two fo the three items are as local as they get - our back yard. (Well, currently we're having to buy local free-range eggs, our 17 hens laid 3 whole eggs yesterday, and that's a big improvement... They've had a rough moult this year.)
In an effort to get around the "goes bad" side effect of the pumpkin and oatmeal cleanser, my husband (who is a wise man) came up with the brilliant idea of dehydrating the pumpkin, and I have discovered that when I dehydrate the pumpkin, then grind it down (first I use our food processor, then I go after it with the grain mill), and pre-mix it with honey and almond oil. It doesn't go bad, or at least during the week and a half it takes to use a single batch (2 tbsp worth of powder and 1 ea oil and honey) and leave it on my bathroom counter.